It's tricky when people change who we are exponentially and then seemingly overnight drift away as if we never were - gatekeepers and angels opening doors for us as we move through the trials, tribulations and triumphs of an ordinary life.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't long to follow the trail of pixie dust you left in your wake, and yet, I have faith that the Universe is constantly shifting so that I might too move forward. So while you are there in your life and I in mine, here we are for a quiet coffee on a Monday night, and I just want to say thank you.
Lately my mind is on constant repeat of the many ways you pushed me to where I am. All of the times I thought about who you are, how much I admire you and how grateful I am that you accepted me for me in that single moment. The things you did and didn't do that made it OK to just be.
Often we focus on building, sometimes we evolve, and then there is the magical crossroads of the two when someone simply points quietly at the door you forgot you put in the gigantic solid walls you have worked so hard to raise. That is where I found you.
While I wanted to hang on forever, I've come to recognize the signs - to give gratitude for the time we had rather than mourn the loss of moving on. I used to lose sleep, to shed tears, to question everything I did and didn't do when worlds parted.
I blamed myself, shamed myself and let my heart break into pieces. And now, well, I guess you could say that instead I've learned to thank my lucky stars so that they might send me yet another light.
To say I miss you does no justice. To say I appreciate you seems so small.
So tonight I clink my decaffeinated cup to the life I see behind your eyes and the potential you saw in mine.
About Over Coffee.
All too often, work/family/life schedules make it nearly impossible to simply have a cup of coffee with friends. We schedule, reschedule, cancel and say "soon"! I look forward to slower days when we can make that happen more regularly, but in the meantime, it seemed a shame to waste the words I really want to say to these amazing people I'd love to be snuggled up in a booth with ... right now.