it's ok to cry

kate jComment

Sometimes, it's OK to cry. 

I say it to CJ now and then, when he lets out a rare burst of tears from frustration or disappointment. He's tough as nails when it comes to scratches from a tree climb or falling down the gravel pile at the shop, but ask him to go to bed an hour after bed time and life melts to pieces. And then ... it's OK to cry.

I've been working hard at feeling all the feels lately, crying when I want to cry and laughing when I want to laugh - even if they're immediately back-to-back and make me feel a little crazy. So often I work to connect the dots. I want to see how A makes it's way to Z, how this choice led to that outcome and how everything I claim to watch happen for a reason later makes sense in just exactly the way I expected. 

And ya know what? Sometimes, it doesn't make any freakin' sense. Sometimes, I love hard and hurt harder, lean in and back out. Sometimes, I feel like that's me being completely indecisive and other times, I feel decisive as hell. 

Because it's all a choice. And while it would make for a nice neat bow to make one choice that leads logically to the next, in a perfect ribbon of cause and affect, sometimes a well cried tear creates just enough space in our hearts and just the right flow to exactly where we're meant to be next.